A whip for the horse, a halter for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools. Do not answer a fool according to his folly or you will be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes. ~Proverbs 26:3-5
I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. ~Matthew 10:16
Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales. Rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. ~1 Timothy 4:7-8
Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. Their teaching will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, who have wandered away from the truth. They say that the resurrection has already taken place, and they destroy the faith of some. Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “”Everyone who confesses the name of The Lord must turn away from wickedness!” ~2 Timothy 2:16-19
Avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a one is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. ~Titus 3:9-11
There are those who like to argue just to hear themselves talk. They believe that their opinion is worth sharing, and they are terrible listeners. We could even say that, on their own, they are unteachable. The question is, how does one deal with these people? It is an interesting string of thoughts for us to consider today. If you whip a horse, and I’m assuming the more modern term here would be “crop,” you can get it to move faster. A halter on a donkey enables you to lead it where you want it to go as it carries your burdens.
A fool is a whole other category. How do you deal with a fool? First Solomon suggests a rod of discipline. Well, that may help to at least get them to stop the undesirable behavior or prattling, but then, do you answer them? The proverbs we are looking at today contain the closest thing there is to an actual contradiction in the Word of God. “Answer a fool.” “Don’t answer a fool.” They can’t both be true, can they? Which is it?
If you answer them, do you try to instill wisdom or talk at their level or just don’t bother answering at all. It seems as though, on this one, even the teacher himself is a bit stumped on what exactly the right approach is. Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe say a prayer and take your chances. If you try to reason with them, you are giving them more time to air their own opinions and allowing them to think, “Boy, I’m smart!” If you don’t answer, they think they’ve won the argument. And again, they can be very proud of themselves.
These days, the rod probably will only get you in trouble, so that approach isn’t a good idea either. Kathy and I have several people who are very close to us who are very strong in their opinions. We have learned, the hard way, that they aren’t interested in considering how, or why, we differ from them. They have no room for considering a different point of view. We really value Paul’s wisdom here to Timothy and Titus on how to deal with difficult people such as them. Try once, twice, and then let it go. He advises, “Have nothing to do with them.” That might be drastic depending on the situation, but certainly, rather than talking, make it a matter of prayer.
In one of the people that we are dealing with, knowing the interests, instead of arguing, we are beginning to suggest things to read that would be of spiritual interest. That’s one way to let God be the instructor as we stay on the sidelines praying. What is of most importance is to stay connected. That does not mean agree with, but it does mean love.
The people of the world are too good at walking away when they can’t see eye to eye. It’s the beginning of the building of the wall that we have talked about in the past. We, however, are no longer of the world. We are children of God, so we need to be like God in our approach to our fellow man. When someone who opposes us begins to build a wall, you make plans for the door that both of you can walk through. Trust that God is working, even though we do not see.
What is that great line that says, “Even when it seems that God is doing nothing, He’s up to something.” That’s just how He works. He knows how to deal with the fool even when we do not. He created Him, just so, and thus knows how to get through best. Be faithful in prayer and give up control to God. That just may be the best thing you can do!
Prayer: Father, again I pray for wisdom in how to love difficult people. And Lord give me grace to not be the difficult person for somebody else. I want to build doors, not walls. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Song: Make Me a Channel of Your Peace
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