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February 17 “You Gotta Know When To Hold Um”

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult. Whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you. Rebuke a wise man and he will love you. ~Proverbs 9:7-8

Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger. ~Proverbs 29:8

Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls before pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. ~Matthew 7:6

Okay, perhaps some of you on this list will remember the words to the chorus of the Kenny Rogers’ song, “The Gambler” which says: “You gotta know when to hold um, Know when to fold um, Know when to walk away, And know when to run.”

Kenny Rogers was talking about the wise gambler who is trying to hold on to his money. I can’t help but think that the same advice can apply to our words, even if they are wise, when we consider our audience. In fact, leaning on wisdom will help us discern when to speak and when to hold our tongue. Even Jesus seems to be agreeing with Solomon here that there are times when the wiser thing to do is save your breath.

I wonder if, when trying to perceive when to speak and when to stay silent, we can gain some guidance from Jesus’ parable of the four soils? The four soils represent the condition of the heart. When someone appears to be hostile to the Word, they may be like the first soil that is hard and impenetrable. Seeds scattered on this type of soil may be considered bird seed rather than a crop planted because it isn’t going to go into the heart before it is snatched away by the world.

As those of you who are gardeners know, that doesn’t mean that the soil is completely useless, but it will take time to work with it and enrich it, to make it useful again. Holding your tongue, or in the case of the parable, your seed, may be a wise approach here, but that doesn’t mean walk away. It may mean that the soil needs to be watered by your tears in prayer and broken up by acts of kindness and compassion. It may need enriching by encouraging thoughts of care. Most of all, it will need time and patience and often hard work before you will earn the right to speak and plant the seed of hope within.

The second soil may be easily distracted by the world. They have no interest in learning and growing. Deep theological probing won’t work here because they can’t handle it. Again, prayer is helpful, but patience is also needed to work the soil so that the person wants to put down deeper roots in the faith than they presently have.

The third soil, distracted by the cares of this world, may need to undergo suffering to encourage them to take hold of their faith in a more solid way. In the third soil’s case, words of wisdom and guidance will be helpful, though not always appreciated. Well-chosen words here, on your part, can encourage the heart with the third soil to want to get rid of the thorns. But this isn’t always easy because some of those thorns may be their prize possession. It takes skill, well-chosen words on your part to encourage your listener to want to do the weeding necessary to grow in Christ.

Then there is the fourth soil. I hope that all of you reading this are in this category. You want to know. You want to grow. You want to be fruitful. You should be a safe person to have a deep discussion with about spiritual matters without being easily offended. You should be a person who is interested in knowing the truth, even if it means having to change your thinking on a matter. You should be a person who will take pearls of wisdom and appreciate them for what they are and not trample them or toss them away because you don’t like them. You should be a person that can have a deep conversation, even a conflict, and part as friends.



It’s probably fair to think of the first soil as the mocker or the one who will trample your pearls of wisdom under foot. That’s why it is usually not wise to begin with speaking, but to earn the right to speak after much prayer, time and attention. In my opinion, however, too much of the church today is made up of the second and third soils. Fourth soil people need to be very wise in dealings with them. They can’t yet handle the meat of the gospel, though you would think that for the length of time that they have been a Christian they should be able to by now.

Sadly, however, that is not the case. We need to be wise in enticing them to want to grow. This does take discernment. Jesus did tell us that we could know them by their fruit, what some would call “judging others,” but never to look down on them, except to help them up. We need to be in prayer for those of the second and third soil around us, that God will give us love for them, along with wisdom and patience in what we say, but also, that the desire to grow will be planted in them so that they will no longer be content with remaining where they are. The more fourth soil, the merrier both for God and us. Doesn’t every farmer want as much rich soil as possible to produce the biggest crop?

Prayer: Father God, give me a humble heart, remove the planks from my eyes so that I can see others clearly, and with a compassionate heart lovingly speak apt words of wisdom to bless them. And if my planks are too big, help me to hear the words that will soften me! In Jesus' name, amen.


Song: Word of God Speak

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