He who puts up security for another will surely suffer. Whoever refuses to strike hands in pledge is safe. ~Proverbs 11:15
Take the coat of one who puts up security for a stranger. Hold it in pledge if he does it for a wayward woman. ~Proverbs 20:16 & 27:13 (Another repeat!)
Do not be a person who strikes hands in pledge or puts up security for debts. If you lack the means to pay, your very bed will be snatched from under you. ~Proverbs 22:27-28
Give everyone what you owe: if you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. ~Romans 13:7-8
It was tempting to title today’s devotional, “Hold on to Your Wallet!” There is a lot of good wisdom in the proverbs for today, but many people find the advice given hard to follow. In Truth, statistically speaking, more than half of those who do not follow this advice regret not doing so in the long run.
“Do not put up security,” or, a “pledge,” is known as co-signing today. A person wants to take out a loan, but the bank has determined that they can’t really afford to pay it back. The borrower is advised to find someone who has a better credit rating, or more means, or, simply a better reputation, to also sign for the loan, backing up the original borrower. This way, the bank has someone signing the loan that they are more confident they can trust and more often than not, the borrower does default, and the co-signer gets stuck paying back the loan.
There are so many reasons that co-signing isn’t a good idea. It is hard though to say “NO,” when the person making the request of you is someone you love and are related to. It’s easy to get caught up in the belief that the borrower you love won’t hurt you. You want to believe they will pay it back. Yet, Solomon advises here, say no. It is true that we want to help out of our love, but in truth, by co-signing, we may be doing the most harmful thing we can do.
We may be preventing the immature less dependable borrower from growing up and valuing better the resources with which God has blessed them already. We may be blocking an opportunity for God to help them mature. We may be hindering them from turning to God for help. They don’t need to if they know that they can turn to us. Also, you are pledging the resources that God has entrusted to you. In later proverbs, we will discuss how money actually changes relationships. This is a serious matter in God’s eyes.
Dave Ramsey, of Financial Peace University, Ron Blue of Master Your Money, and the late Larry Burkett, the founder of Crown Financial, all have a lot of advice on this subject, much the same, because all of them base their teachings on the Bible, especially Proverbs. Probably the best tip Kathy and I have gleaned on this subject over the years, from these teachers, is, if you can afford to give the borrower a gift, you’re probably better off doing that than obligating yourself by cosigning a loan, a financial relationship in which you run the risk of holding the bag. If you can’t afford to take out the loan yourself, definitely don’t co-sign: “If you lack the means to pay, your very bed will be snatched from under you.”
Our kids learned very early that we would not lend them money. Of course, it helped that we couldn’t afford to. However, in the interest of full disclosure, we did make two exceptions in helping Caleb and Liz to get their cars. They were both living with us still, and working, and they had to commit most of their paycheck to getting the cars paid off quickly. I think Liz had hers paid off in about a year. Matt, however, has taken our challenge to heart and just gets cheap old beaters to commute to work and back. Of course, that also has it’s draw backs. His cars usually have exciting finishes, like the one that caught on fire on the S curve of 131 in Grand Rapids, but he’s happy. Instead of cosigning anything, we give gifts when we can to meet a need that we learn of. Remember, God’s people are also to be known as generous people, and that starts at home.
It might help to bring a little insight as well, to mention our approach with Christopher. We learned very early in our dealings with Chris not to give him any help financially, no matter how bad it got or how much he begged, because he never spent it on what he said he needed it for. This was hard, but hopefully, it helps you see that when I say that helping may be the most harmful thing you can do, I can say it because I’ve lived it. We encourage Chris to find agencies that can help, we pray for him and we let him know how much we love him when we talk. That is the help that he needs from us. Our parent hearts ache for things to be different for him, but we entrust him to God’s care. There are very few times that we have had to rescue, but it was done with a lot of prayer, and it never involved giving him money.
Best of all, I like Paul’s wisdom on the matter: “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.” May we all fulfill this law well today. Sometimes the loving thing to do is to say, “no.”
Prayer: Father, today’s wisdom teaches me about my own limitations in how far I can go to help others, especially loved ones. I am so grateful Lord, that Jesus paid it all! But, You could because You are infinite. I, on the other hand, only have so much, as a trust from You. I love being generous and I can give sacrificially, but I need Your wisdom to make sure that when I am helping someone out I am not getting in Your way, blocking the path by which You would lead them to maturity. Lead on Oh King eternal, help me to be a faithful steward of your gifts. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Song: Above All
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