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February 21 Masks

A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. ~Proverbs 19:13

The sins of some are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them. The sins of others trail behind them. In the same way, good deeds are obvious, and even those that are not cannot be hidden. ~1 Timothy 5:24-25

Wow! 
The first thought that came to me when I read this proverb was, “Poor guy.” Where does he go to get a break? Besides that, what does this proverb even mean? It's surely not a bit of obscure advice. It's kind of an obvious fact. And once you have a son and a wife, it's kind of too late to fix it with wisdom. You just have to deal with it. But there's also no sage advice for how to handle this sad situation. It's just kind of out there. Ouch. 

But what if the wisdom here is to simply be aware that some people's countenance and attitude may have an unseen explanation? We have experience with cranky people of whom we may ask, "What got into him?" On the other hand, in many cases, people who know it is socially unacceptable to be cranky, put up a brave front. It's like wearing a mask.  

We really don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Kathy and I used to say to people, if you don’t believe there’s a devil, come to our house on Sunday morning and he’s bound to show up one way or another. I’ve heard lots of speakers refer to the trip to church in the family car with everybody at odds with another passenger and then, pull into the church parking lot, hop out, close the car door and put on that smile that shows we're all fine! One big happy family! Or how about when we greet one another and one person asks, “How ya doin’?” and the almost obligatory response, “Great, great!” We’ve all been there, if we’re honest.

Why has church become this way? It hasn’t always been the case. At the founding of our former denomination, as part of our history, it was common for attendees to ask one another, “How goes your walk with the Lord?” Honesty was expected in the reply, not for ridicule and comparison, but to ask for help, guidance and above all, prayer.

Consider the man in the proverb above. He is having problems with his son and no peace with his wife. Would he be safe disclosing that here? How would we help him? Do we have help to truly offer? Would he be safe disclosing his household troubles in church? Or would he be quietly endured, gotten away from as quickly as possible, or gossiped about? That’s a question we should wrestle with. Are we a safe place for fellow members of our worship family to disclose their pain?

We all experience pain of one type or another. Unfortunately, in Christian circles, certain pain is more comfortable for us to deal with than others. This man’s pain may be one of the more uncomfortable ones. What if the wife attends also? What if the son has been in youth group? What if the son and wife have said things about him from their perspective? It can get messy. One thing is certain, this family is in trouble and needs help, if nothing else, it needs our prayers. How wonderful if we can do more. Then, we are changing the reputation of the church, not our congregation, but the Church in general. We’ve all heard the negative comments made by those who have complained about the church. How wonderful if we can show that our intention is truly for good.

Prayer: Lord, as I meet folks today, help me be sensitive to the fact that "behind the scenes" issues may may be troubling them. Help me be compassionate and patient, even lovingly inquisitive. Lord, as meet folks today, help me be open and honest with those I should trust, because if I can share my pain, they might have a word of encouragement for me. In Jesus' name, amen.

Song: If We’re Honest

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