February 11 Then There Are the Children
A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. ~Proverbs 29:3
The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. ~Proverbs 29:15
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. ~Proverbs 29:17
Therefore, anyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who builds his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. ~Matthew 7:24-25
Yesterday we said that marriage is God’s design for the best place for us to thrive. That doesn’t just mean for the two adults who have made a commitment. Within marriage is also the best design for the children of that marriage. I don’t think that I’m saying anything here that the readers on this list don’t already know. What these verses from Proverbs illustrate, are the different roles mothers and fathers play in a child’s life. Note, these differences were obvious 3,000 years ago. They are not easily changed.
A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. ~Proverbs 29:3. Think of the story of the Prodigal Son. Yes, the Father was full of joy, and probably relief, when he saw his son coming up the road. In reality though, isn’t it every father’s desire, and mother’s too, that their child never stray to the far country to begin with? We all want the best for our children. Yet, Paul issues this warning: both in Ephesians 6:4, where he says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Also, in Colossians 3:21 he says: “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Paul and Solomon recognize the tendency of men to become a bit too task oriented and in so doing neglect the heart of the child.
On the other hand we have: The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. ~Proverbs 29:15. Why is the Mother singled out here? Well, usually, in a healthy situation, the mother still may tend to counter the father’s task focus by paying too much attention to the heart and not enough attention to the unacceptable behavior that needs to be dealt with. In other words, she might be more reluctant than the father to administer the rod. So, the Proverb reassures her that it may be necessary.
Proper discipline is a balancing act that takes time to do well. I know from my own experience that Kathy and I had to learn to parent. We’re just grateful that our oldest son, Matt, still enjoys our company, since he’s the main one that had to be the “guinea pig” as we practiced and worked out the balancing act out.
Children do need discipline, but remember, as we’ve discussed earlier, discipline is not a bad thing. It is training in skills needed for physical adulthood and spiritual maturity.
There are the rocky years, as the child takes over more and more of their own direction, but, as Solomon says: “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.” ~Proverbs 29:17. I can say, this is true. Kathy and I love hanging out with our kids now as young adults. They have truly become our favorite people to be with. We know that we are blessed to be able to say this. I don’t think any of us would choose to go back and relive the years of training, training for us as parents, not just the kids.
Sometimes it was hard for Kathy and I to get the balance right. There were times when she thought I was too harsh and times when I thought she was to soft and then, we would flip flop and I thought she was too harsh and she thought I was too laid back. God’s wisdom, sought through much prayer together, had to be the center. We learned to humble ourselves before God and neither one could insist that his or her opinion had to be right. God’s way had to hold sway more than either of ours. As Jesus said, his wisdom must be the rock. Just as a house needs that solid foundation or there will be disaster, so too, the family within that house needs the solid foundation of God’s wisdom for the securest outcome for all.
It's hard to be a parent. I think it’s even harder to be a parent today with so many broken families and parents having to raise children single handed without the counter balance for support. My guess is that you probably haven’t learned anything from today’s thoughts. You’ve raised your children and you’re beyond all this in your life. But you are surrounded by floundering families. Can you find one to pray for?
A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. ~Proverbs 29:3
The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. ~Proverbs 29:15
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. ~Proverbs 29:17
Therefore, anyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who builds his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. ~Matthew 7:24-25
Yesterday we said that marriage is God’s design for the best place for us to thrive. That doesn’t just mean for the two adults who have made a commitment. Within marriage is also the best design for the children of that marriage. I don’t think that I’m saying anything here that the readers on this list don’t already know. What these verses from Proverbs illustrate, are the different roles mothers and fathers play in a child’s life. Note, these differences were obvious 3,000 years ago. They are not easily changed.
A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. ~Proverbs 29:3. Think of the story of the Prodigal Son. Yes, the Father was full of joy, and probably relief, when he saw his son coming up the road. In reality though, isn’t it every father’s desire, and mother’s too, that their child never stray to the far country to begin with? We all want the best for our children. Yet, Paul issues this warning: both in Ephesians 6:4, where he says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Also, in Colossians 3:21 he says: “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Paul and Solomon recognize the tendency of men to become a bit too task oriented and in so doing neglect the heart of the child.
On the other hand we have: The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. ~Proverbs 29:15. Why is the Mother singled out here? Well, usually, in a healthy situation, the mother still may tend to counter the father’s task focus by paying too much attention to the heart and not enough attention to the unacceptable behavior that needs to be dealt with. In other words, she might be more reluctant than the father to administer the rod. So, the Proverb reassures her that it may be necessary.
Proper discipline is a balancing act that takes time to do well. I know from my own experience that Kathy and I had to learn to parent. We’re just grateful that our oldest son, Matt, still enjoys our company, since he’s the main one that had to be the “guinea pig” as we practiced and worked out the balancing act out.
Children do need discipline, but remember, as we’ve discussed earlier, discipline is not a bad thing. It is training in skills needed for physical adulthood and spiritual maturity.
There are the rocky years, as the child takes over more and more of their own direction, but, as Solomon says: “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.” ~Proverbs 29:17. I can say, this is true. Kathy and I love hanging out with our kids now as young adults. They have truly become our favorite people to be with. We know that we are blessed to be able to say this. I don’t think any of us would choose to go back and relive the years of training, training for us as parents, not just the kids.
Sometimes it was hard for Kathy and I to get the balance right. There were times when she thought I was too harsh and times when I thought she was to soft and then, we would flip flop and I thought she was too harsh and she thought I was too laid back. God’s wisdom, sought through much prayer together, had to be the center. We learned to humble ourselves before God and neither one could insist that his or her opinion had to be right. God’s way had to hold sway more than either of ours. As Jesus said, his wisdom must be the rock. Just as a house needs that solid foundation or there will be disaster, so too, the family within that house needs the solid foundation of God’s wisdom for the securest outcome for all.
It's hard to be a parent. I think it’s even harder to be a parent today with so many broken families and parents having to raise children single handed without the counter balance for support. My guess is that you probably haven’t learned anything from today’s thoughts. You’ve raised your children and you’re beyond all this in your life. But you are surrounded by floundering families. Can you find one to pray for?
Is there a struggling couple you can mentor? Is there a
child that you know of who has no adult in his or her life to guide and direct?
If you don’t know, might I suggest that you at least begin praying for two
ministries, Kid’s Hope, and Single Momm. Kid’s hope pairs a responsible adult
with a child at school to mentor and build a relationship with. It only takes
an hour or so a week to begin with, but who knows where the heart will lead. Single
Momm is another ministry growing in this area to come along side single moms
and let them know that they are not alone.
We do not live as those who have no hope. We have a hope and a light to share with those who are struggling around us if we dare. “May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loves us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in good deeds and word.” ~2 Thess. 2:16-17
Prayer: Father, thank you for being the perfect parent! Thank you for giving me wise instructions that help me too, if I listen and live in the Spirit. I want to continue to be a wise parent, even to my grown children. And if there are nearby younger parents, or even children who need better role models, if I can help, may I have the opportunity to mentor them also, for their sake and for your glory. Thank you Lord for the Kids Hope ministry as one doorway into the opportunity I am praying for. Thank you also for the Single Momm ministry and their next event night this weekend. Provide them with enough volunteers to bless all the single moms with the help and resources they need. In Jesus' name, amen.
Hymn: A Christian Home
We do not live as those who have no hope. We have a hope and a light to share with those who are struggling around us if we dare. “May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loves us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in good deeds and word.” ~2 Thess. 2:16-17
Prayer: Father, thank you for being the perfect parent! Thank you for giving me wise instructions that help me too, if I listen and live in the Spirit. I want to continue to be a wise parent, even to my grown children. And if there are nearby younger parents, or even children who need better role models, if I can help, may I have the opportunity to mentor them also, for their sake and for your glory. Thank you Lord for the Kids Hope ministry as one doorway into the opportunity I am praying for. Thank you also for the Single Momm ministry and their next event night this weekend. Provide them with enough volunteers to bless all the single moms with the help and resources they need. In Jesus' name, amen.
Hymn: A Christian Home
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