Scripture: Philippians 4:2-9
Listen link: www.lcepc.org then look for “sermons” tab.
How would you like to have someone else air your dirty laundry in public? You’re all familiar with that phrase, right? It means to bring out into the open some actions or attitudes that make you look bad, or at least a little less than the congenial impression you hope to make in social settings. It’s embarrassing.
I remember one time when I was a very new Christian, going to night school to make up some credits and demonstrate my readiness to return to college. I was in a class that was all about conflict management. We had an assignment to talk about a real conflict that we had experienced or were experiencing. As it happened, this was shortly after a class project that involved having us work together in small groups and I had experienced a little conflict with one of my classmates that I felt was unresolved.
I’m sure I had read the gospel teaching about being a peacemaker. I wanted to resolve this conflict. I also thought this class was all about that. So that was the issue I brought to the table. I thought, what better choice than a problem that was active and in need, rather than an old one that could only be reviewed? I was going to see the principles we were learning put into action!
It didn’t work out well. Even the teacher agreed with the embarrassed fellow student that I shouldn’t have done that. They explained to me that I had skipped the important step of trying to work it out privately first, so that the classmate was surprised and blindsided by an issue they didn’t even realize I was troubled by. My perception of the matter was quite different from theirs. Oops. I guess maybe I had not yet read Matthew 18.
I told that story as a lead in to thinking about what in the world Paul was doing bringing up the conflict between Euodia and Syntyche, in a letter that was intended to be read to the churches! Euodia and Syntyche. Those names sound funny to us, so I’m just going to call them Judy and Cindy, ok? But talk about airing dirty laundry! If Judy and Cindy were sitting there when the letter was first read, I wonder how they reacted! If they were not present for the first reading, who told them about it and what happened next? Alas, these are questions that we won’t get answered until we ask Judy and Cindy in heaven, assuming they are willing to talk about it, even though it’s none of our business.
There are some things we do know about them. They must have been women in ministry, spiritual leaders in the fellowship. In just two verses, Paul gives us a glimpse into the value and significance of their ministries. He used some of the same terms in talking about them that he had already used for Timothy and Epaphroditus. He called them co-workers who had contended with him for the gospel. Just the fact that Paul addressed Judy and Cindy personally and individually, reinforces the idea that these women were influential members of the Philippian church and possibly were its leaders.
The church had begun at a women’s prayer meeting (Acts 16:11–15), and it is quite possible that Judy and Cindy were part of that original group. The one thing we know for sure is that these two women were at odds with each other. This is because Paul appeals to a “true companion,” to “help these women.” It is likely the disagreement was a sharp and public one. How else could Paul have heard about it even though he was currently in a Roman prison “in chains”? (Philippians 1:13) Perhaps Epaphroditus told Paul about this problem. Two leaders in ministry at odds with each other would have put the unity of the believers in Philippi in jeopardy, so it was important for Paul to address the bickering in his letter to the church.
Unity among believers is a common theme in the Bible. Our call to worship quoted Psalm 133. John 17:23 has Jesus praying, “that all believers may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” 1 Peter 3:8 says, “All of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” And Paul himself spoke about unity in several of his letters. Paul had already said, earlier in this letter, at the second verse of what we call chapter 2: “make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.” That’s what Judy and Cindy need to do. We all do.
What can we learn from Judy and Cindy? Their example shows that even those who have worked together for the cause of Christ can have disagreements. It also shows the importance of treating one another with love, compassion, and longsuffering. A church warring with itself is in danger of losing its testimony to outsiders. Judy and Cindy needed to be “of the same mind in the Lord,” and the other church members were to do all that was necessary to heal the breach. They were all fellow-laborers in the Lord’s work, and their names were all part of the book of life.
So, Paul didn’t just mention these ladies and not also prescribe a treatment. It seems funny to me that the way some of our Bibles are arranged in sections makes it look like Judy and Cindy get a brief mention, with a note to some unnamed “true companion” to help them, and then there is a section break, with the next section called “Final Exhortations.” In my way of reading it the so-called final exhortations are really Paul’s advice for how to solve Judy and Cindy’s problem! In summary, he is telling the church that all conflicts can be resolved, and unity can be restored when we 1) Rejoice, 2) Pray, and 3) Think about the good things that really matter.
So, let’s look at how these things enable us to resolve conflict. Start with rejoice as Paul did. In the middle of a painful conflict we might ask, how can anyone be happy at a time like this? When people are fighting what’s there to rejoice about? And so, I think the point is to get your mind off the conflict and take a look at the bigger picture. There is a lot to rejoice about! I can’t list everything, but some very important ones that come to mind, that may have a bearing on resolving internal church conflict are these: Rejoice! We are alive and free! We are born again Christians, filled with the Holy Spirit. Rejoice! God has given us the capacity and ability to love and forgive anyone, just as he has forgiven us. Rejoice! Every problem is solvable among those who are committed to the cause of Christ, and the fellowship of believers is a big part of that.
So, step back from the problem, take a deep breath, and relax. Rejoice in what you already have in the Lord, coupled with the hope and promise that the conflict can be resolved peaceably. And be patient. It may take time to work through all the issues that produced the conflict but take all the time you need.
Next, to truly resolve the issues, you need to get a clear picture of exactly what the issues are, so pray! Paul says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Does that sound familiar? It does apply to all prayer about anything in general, but I think Paul wanted us to see how it helps us resolve conflict.
Seek the mind of Christ! He is the head and what he wants counts for way more than what we might think we want. And this is prayer in the positive and hopeful frame of mind that comes from rejoicing. We’re not anxious about anything, not even the conflict we’re praying about. And we can give thanks for God’s promise to help. You can even give thanks for the people on the other side of the conflict and pray for them and pray for a solution to the problem and pray for the grace to work it out and get back together.
That’s the goal, the relationship is more important than just being right or maintaining your own opinion. It’s possible. But it’s not easy. I often point out that every denomination that splits the Christian church or any particular congregation is always the result of a sinfully unresolved conflict. However, when we do it right, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
When we pray, we draw closer to Christ as we seek His mind on the matter that caused the conflict. As we each draw closer to Christ we will find that we are also being drawn closer to each other. That’s what this ladder is here for, to show you how that works.
I need two volunteers who don’t mind stepping up on this ladder. One on each side, that’s right. Now, look how far apart you are. My measuring tape says you are about 5 feet apart. Now, Jesus is figuratively at the top of the ladder. Both of you take one step up. Did you all see how they got closer to each other too? To make it more obvious, take two more steps up.
Another thing this illustrates is that conflict does not have to end in division. Since there is a ladder between you that represents the conflict, we could say that there is a sharp division between you, since the ladder is pointier at the top. But seen correctly, conflict can be used to draw us closer to each other. If the ladder is the conflict, then the conflict is a tool, and like a ladder it can be used to draw us closer to God and to each other. It may be that God allows and uses conflict in our lives for that good purpose. Conflict, by causing us to notice our differences, also gives us a way to work toward unity. Then, as we seek the mind of Christ and come to agree with Christ we will automatically also agree with each other.
One more point, when two people are in conflict, they tend to turn their backs on each other, as in walk away. But it’s really hard to climb a ladder that way. You want to try? So, what I’m saying is, when you have a disagreement with each other, and you both want to go to God about it, you also have to be willing to face each other. It’s hard to solve a conflict if you refuse to work at it through prayer and with loving concern for each other.
Lastly Paul exhorts us to work toward unity by that way we think about things and by what we think about. He says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
So, when you’re in conflict with someone, it’s tempting to think bad things about them. There must be something wrong with them if they disagree with you, right? They must have wanted to hurt you, or they did that bad thing on purpose because they’re just mean and rotten to the core. That’s where our natural minds want to go, right? And satan certainly encourages that because that liar will do anything to magnify dissension and division until we’re at each other’s throats.
So, Paul tells us, only think about what’s true. Such as, yes there is a conflict. They meant well. They are a good person. They just have a different point of view. And so on. When you know the person better, you can certainly identify their good qualities. These good things Paul tells us to think about serve as gates that can take every thought captive as we are supposed to. A new though enters your mind about a person with whom you’re in conflict. You say to that thought, “Hold on a second. Does this thought line up with God's truth? Is it honorable for me to think that about that person? Is it Right? Is it pure? If this thought becomes action, will the outcome be lovely and contribute to excellence in my life or theirs? Will other believers approve of it? Is it something for which I can praise God?" If the answer to any of those questions is no, dismiss that thought immediately. Don't have anything more to do with it.
Finally, Paul claims to have been a model of good character and conflict management. He says, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Would you be willing to be such a model too? In Christ and in the power of the Holy Spirit it is God’s will that we all aspire to that because that will make this congregation even more of a place where everyone can see how much we love each other. Amen.
Listen link: www.lcepc.org then look for “sermons” tab.
How would you like to have someone else air your dirty laundry in public? You’re all familiar with that phrase, right? It means to bring out into the open some actions or attitudes that make you look bad, or at least a little less than the congenial impression you hope to make in social settings. It’s embarrassing.
I remember one time when I was a very new Christian, going to night school to make up some credits and demonstrate my readiness to return to college. I was in a class that was all about conflict management. We had an assignment to talk about a real conflict that we had experienced or were experiencing. As it happened, this was shortly after a class project that involved having us work together in small groups and I had experienced a little conflict with one of my classmates that I felt was unresolved.
I’m sure I had read the gospel teaching about being a peacemaker. I wanted to resolve this conflict. I also thought this class was all about that. So that was the issue I brought to the table. I thought, what better choice than a problem that was active and in need, rather than an old one that could only be reviewed? I was going to see the principles we were learning put into action!
It didn’t work out well. Even the teacher agreed with the embarrassed fellow student that I shouldn’t have done that. They explained to me that I had skipped the important step of trying to work it out privately first, so that the classmate was surprised and blindsided by an issue they didn’t even realize I was troubled by. My perception of the matter was quite different from theirs. Oops. I guess maybe I had not yet read Matthew 18.
I told that story as a lead in to thinking about what in the world Paul was doing bringing up the conflict between Euodia and Syntyche, in a letter that was intended to be read to the churches! Euodia and Syntyche. Those names sound funny to us, so I’m just going to call them Judy and Cindy, ok? But talk about airing dirty laundry! If Judy and Cindy were sitting there when the letter was first read, I wonder how they reacted! If they were not present for the first reading, who told them about it and what happened next? Alas, these are questions that we won’t get answered until we ask Judy and Cindy in heaven, assuming they are willing to talk about it, even though it’s none of our business.
There are some things we do know about them. They must have been women in ministry, spiritual leaders in the fellowship. In just two verses, Paul gives us a glimpse into the value and significance of their ministries. He used some of the same terms in talking about them that he had already used for Timothy and Epaphroditus. He called them co-workers who had contended with him for the gospel. Just the fact that Paul addressed Judy and Cindy personally and individually, reinforces the idea that these women were influential members of the Philippian church and possibly were its leaders.
The church had begun at a women’s prayer meeting (Acts 16:11–15), and it is quite possible that Judy and Cindy were part of that original group. The one thing we know for sure is that these two women were at odds with each other. This is because Paul appeals to a “true companion,” to “help these women.” It is likely the disagreement was a sharp and public one. How else could Paul have heard about it even though he was currently in a Roman prison “in chains”? (Philippians 1:13) Perhaps Epaphroditus told Paul about this problem. Two leaders in ministry at odds with each other would have put the unity of the believers in Philippi in jeopardy, so it was important for Paul to address the bickering in his letter to the church.
Unity among believers is a common theme in the Bible. Our call to worship quoted Psalm 133. John 17:23 has Jesus praying, “that all believers may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” 1 Peter 3:8 says, “All of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” And Paul himself spoke about unity in several of his letters. Paul had already said, earlier in this letter, at the second verse of what we call chapter 2: “make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.” That’s what Judy and Cindy need to do. We all do.
What can we learn from Judy and Cindy? Their example shows that even those who have worked together for the cause of Christ can have disagreements. It also shows the importance of treating one another with love, compassion, and longsuffering. A church warring with itself is in danger of losing its testimony to outsiders. Judy and Cindy needed to be “of the same mind in the Lord,” and the other church members were to do all that was necessary to heal the breach. They were all fellow-laborers in the Lord’s work, and their names were all part of the book of life.
So, Paul didn’t just mention these ladies and not also prescribe a treatment. It seems funny to me that the way some of our Bibles are arranged in sections makes it look like Judy and Cindy get a brief mention, with a note to some unnamed “true companion” to help them, and then there is a section break, with the next section called “Final Exhortations.” In my way of reading it the so-called final exhortations are really Paul’s advice for how to solve Judy and Cindy’s problem! In summary, he is telling the church that all conflicts can be resolved, and unity can be restored when we 1) Rejoice, 2) Pray, and 3) Think about the good things that really matter.
So, let’s look at how these things enable us to resolve conflict. Start with rejoice as Paul did. In the middle of a painful conflict we might ask, how can anyone be happy at a time like this? When people are fighting what’s there to rejoice about? And so, I think the point is to get your mind off the conflict and take a look at the bigger picture. There is a lot to rejoice about! I can’t list everything, but some very important ones that come to mind, that may have a bearing on resolving internal church conflict are these: Rejoice! We are alive and free! We are born again Christians, filled with the Holy Spirit. Rejoice! God has given us the capacity and ability to love and forgive anyone, just as he has forgiven us. Rejoice! Every problem is solvable among those who are committed to the cause of Christ, and the fellowship of believers is a big part of that.
So, step back from the problem, take a deep breath, and relax. Rejoice in what you already have in the Lord, coupled with the hope and promise that the conflict can be resolved peaceably. And be patient. It may take time to work through all the issues that produced the conflict but take all the time you need.
Next, to truly resolve the issues, you need to get a clear picture of exactly what the issues are, so pray! Paul says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Does that sound familiar? It does apply to all prayer about anything in general, but I think Paul wanted us to see how it helps us resolve conflict.
Seek the mind of Christ! He is the head and what he wants counts for way more than what we might think we want. And this is prayer in the positive and hopeful frame of mind that comes from rejoicing. We’re not anxious about anything, not even the conflict we’re praying about. And we can give thanks for God’s promise to help. You can even give thanks for the people on the other side of the conflict and pray for them and pray for a solution to the problem and pray for the grace to work it out and get back together.
That’s the goal, the relationship is more important than just being right or maintaining your own opinion. It’s possible. But it’s not easy. I often point out that every denomination that splits the Christian church or any particular congregation is always the result of a sinfully unresolved conflict. However, when we do it right, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
When we pray, we draw closer to Christ as we seek His mind on the matter that caused the conflict. As we each draw closer to Christ we will find that we are also being drawn closer to each other. That’s what this ladder is here for, to show you how that works.
I need two volunteers who don’t mind stepping up on this ladder. One on each side, that’s right. Now, look how far apart you are. My measuring tape says you are about 5 feet apart. Now, Jesus is figuratively at the top of the ladder. Both of you take one step up. Did you all see how they got closer to each other too? To make it more obvious, take two more steps up.
Another thing this illustrates is that conflict does not have to end in division. Since there is a ladder between you that represents the conflict, we could say that there is a sharp division between you, since the ladder is pointier at the top. But seen correctly, conflict can be used to draw us closer to each other. If the ladder is the conflict, then the conflict is a tool, and like a ladder it can be used to draw us closer to God and to each other. It may be that God allows and uses conflict in our lives for that good purpose. Conflict, by causing us to notice our differences, also gives us a way to work toward unity. Then, as we seek the mind of Christ and come to agree with Christ we will automatically also agree with each other.
One more point, when two people are in conflict, they tend to turn their backs on each other, as in walk away. But it’s really hard to climb a ladder that way. You want to try? So, what I’m saying is, when you have a disagreement with each other, and you both want to go to God about it, you also have to be willing to face each other. It’s hard to solve a conflict if you refuse to work at it through prayer and with loving concern for each other.
Lastly Paul exhorts us to work toward unity by that way we think about things and by what we think about. He says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
So, when you’re in conflict with someone, it’s tempting to think bad things about them. There must be something wrong with them if they disagree with you, right? They must have wanted to hurt you, or they did that bad thing on purpose because they’re just mean and rotten to the core. That’s where our natural minds want to go, right? And satan certainly encourages that because that liar will do anything to magnify dissension and division until we’re at each other’s throats.
So, Paul tells us, only think about what’s true. Such as, yes there is a conflict. They meant well. They are a good person. They just have a different point of view. And so on. When you know the person better, you can certainly identify their good qualities. These good things Paul tells us to think about serve as gates that can take every thought captive as we are supposed to. A new though enters your mind about a person with whom you’re in conflict. You say to that thought, “Hold on a second. Does this thought line up with God's truth? Is it honorable for me to think that about that person? Is it Right? Is it pure? If this thought becomes action, will the outcome be lovely and contribute to excellence in my life or theirs? Will other believers approve of it? Is it something for which I can praise God?" If the answer to any of those questions is no, dismiss that thought immediately. Don't have anything more to do with it.
Finally, Paul claims to have been a model of good character and conflict management. He says, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Would you be willing to be such a model too? In Christ and in the power of the Holy Spirit it is God’s will that we all aspire to that because that will make this congregation even more of a place where everyone can see how much we love each other. Amen.
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