If a person curses father or mother, the lamp of life will be snuffed out in pitch darkness. An inheritance quickly gained at the beginning will not be blessed in the end. ~Proverbs 20:20-21
Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his Father, “Give me my share of the estate.” So, he divided his property before them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So, he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, “How many of my Father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my Father and say to him: Father I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.” So, he got up and went to his Father.” ~Luke 15:11-20A
I have surely heard Ephraim’s moaning: “You disciplined me like an unruly calf, and I have been disciplined. Restore me, and I will return, because You are the Lord my God. After I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast. I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth.” Is not Ephraim My dear son, the child in whom I delight? Though I often speak against him, I still remember him. Therefore, My heart yearns for him; I have great compassion for him,” declares the Lord. ~Jeremiah 31:18-20
“Honor your Father and Mother,”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” ~Ephesians 6:2-3
Last Fall, when we moved into our current home, our son Matt came up to help. His comment, as we were continuing to move too many possessions was, “Mom, Dad, I don’t want any of this!” At that point we told him, “We don’t either.” Moving really makes you come face to face with how much clutter you own, which is sad since none of it will be going with you for your final move, leaving someone else to deal with decisions about what to do with it, and the work of clearing it out.
Interestingly, as we have helped in other situations in which the final parent has passed on, it has been amazing to realize how much of the next generation does not want most of what their parents have accumulated. It’s either outdated or of little interest. We knew one lady who collected bells, but her children weren’t interested in having the collection.
Even beloved pets at times have a hard time being adopted by the next generation. That is sad because pets can be valuable as companions for the elderly. But it does cause a hesitation about owning a pet if it’s possible that the beloved furry friend will end up at the Humane society if you pass on before they do.
The one exception, the one thing that seems to have little trouble being passed from one generation to the next, is wealth, money itself. Everybody is interested in that! While it is true that much of the scripture today seems focused on the child, or the recipient of an eventual inheritance, we as the older generation need to exercise wisdom in how and what we distribute as well.
So, the rest of my meditation is focused on how to respond to the warning in the second half of the Proverb, “An inheritance quickly gained at the beginning will not be blessed in the end.” Larry Burkett, a Christian financial counselor used to say: “Do your givin’ while you’re livin’ so your knowin’ where it’s goin’.” We have responsibility in how we distribute what we have so that it will be a blessing and not a harm to our children. How many stories have we heard of someone who struggled to achieve, passed on their inheritance and then it became a ruin to their children or grandchildren?
“The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.” (1 Timothy 6:10) It can bless, but when not handled correctly, it can also destroy families and relationships, which is usually the last thing any parent wants. Often, one of the problems is that in the children, who grew up enjoying the blessings, there is not enough appreciation for the discipline, taught by the struggle to achieve, that becomes the best blessing of all.
We think about the Prodigal son. Basically, when he came to his Father and said, “Give me my share of the estate.” In that culture he was saying, “I wish you were dead.” While that was a horrible insult from a greedy son, the Father took a risk that ended up in a much wiser son and a restored relationship. The son started out by dishonoring his Father and basically cursing him and, at first, he thought he was really something, a success, because he had so much money all of a sudden, as we had discussed yesterday, but that was not the end of the story.
The Father had the long view in mind, as we can see by the fact that the Father kept a vigil for the son’s return. Sadly, the older son also dishonored his Father, but he never seemed to be sorry for it. He received the double portion, as his due as the older son, as if he was entitled, but there is no sign that he ever appreciated the blessings he received. While the passage in Jeremiah is really about God and Israel, I see it as a dialogue that could have happened between the Prodigal and the Father after the prodigal had returned. He appreciates what he has learned.
The older son got the property, and he probably appreciated it because it was his to enjoy. But what he didn’t “get,” I mean “understand,” was his father’s heart. As parents, we need to be students of our next generation. Distributing equally isn’t always the right solution. We need to study their character and their ways and minister to them to be a blessing, but not to give them the means to further harm themselves. We have had to wrestle with this as we have worked and reworked our will over the years. And we don’t even have much to work with!
It’s hard to do, but it is also a part of parenting that isn’t given enough attention today. True, children should not dishonor or curse their parents. It will not go well with them when they do. We, however, as parents, also need to be sure that they can handle the responsibility that we are handing them, so that it will not be their ruin, causing them to regret the gift and curse the giver in the end.
Look how carefully our Heavenly Father hands over the spiritual riches we have in Christ. He wants to give us Heaven! But he doesn’t give each of us everything all at once. His spiritual gifts are distributed according to our ability, so that the whole church is fully equipped, but to enjoy that we have to work together.
Prayer: Father, teach me how to know my children well enough to be a blessing to them, giving to them generously of the spiritual riches I have in Christ so that they know how to handle material blessings with wisdom that comes from You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Song: Better
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