The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. A fool shows his annoyance at once, a prudent man overlooks an insult. ~Proverbs 12:15-16
My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. ~James 1:19-21
“A fool shows his annoyance at once.” Why? It’s ”because a fool’s way seems right to him,” and he lacks the patience to stop and listen. Probably what frustrates us the most is not having our own way. The impulsive person suffers with the desire to do it now, do it his way. and be done with it, whatever “it” is. The impulsive person is comfortable with the instant lifestyle that defines our society today.
We are slowly losing the art of deliberation, to our detriment. “The way of a fool seems right to him,” so why, he thinks, take the time to consider any other position? I’m sure all of us can look back over our own personal histories and recount to ourselves moments that we wish we could take back, or reconsider. We have memories of when our impulsive moment did more damage than good.
Paul says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” (1 Cor. 13:11) We expect foolish and impulsive behavior from children, but woe to the adult who has not learned self-control. “A wise man listens to advice.” James says, “everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,” which is something that we all should get better at as we mature.
It’s hard to put the brakes on and slow down, especially today when the sense of urgency is so dominant. It’s hard to believe that a situation can wait for all the information to be gathered. We feel pressed and get agitated, which can lead to anger if the situation is not resolved immediately. This makes James’ next comment even more interesting. “For man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
Our anger impedes our becoming more righteous in God’s eyes. In children, we see them struggle with not getting their own way, and they respond with anger, all the way to a full-blown tantrum. They believe that their anger will make them even more powerful, enabling them to regain control of their environment. They don’t have the words, but they have the will, fueled by anger, and they believe it will work.
Another source of anger is when the fool, who thinks his way is right, takes constructive criticism as a personal insult because his view of the situation is being challenged at all. But the mature and wise person has developed patience and careful listening to the point that constructive criticism is welcomed with thanks for the improvements in the analysis, and beyond that he or she can even overlook an insult that was meant to harm.
Maturity comes with learning the art of conversation, especially listening to another point of view, and taking the time to consider first, and act second. James then advises: “humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” The Word is God’s word, which is the best advice of all for us to consider. It’s interesting too that he advises that we should “humbly accept the word.” That speaks directly against the pride of the one who will not stop and listen; the proverbial fool, that Solomon is talking about.
It’s a good reminder to all of us to sincerely take the time to stop, pray for guidance, and then wait to hear what God has to say. We can fault society around us for living too much in the urgent, but we often live on the edge of that way of life too. Don’t we? It takes discipline and self-control to be quick to listen and slow to speak when we are feeling like we are in the pressure cooker of the “Now,” but we will be blessed and those around us will be even more blessed when we do.
Prayer: Dear Father, probably the most difficult lesson to learn in the Christian life is impulse control, so that I respond correctly, instead of reacting emotionally. My emotions well up and trigger me so quickly! How do I check myself, when it is my "self" that feels attacked or threatened? The armor of God would help. To be secure in Christ is to stand strong against any attack, so that without flinching, I can think about what I just heard or saw and respond with wisdom that comes from You. Help me in this Lord. Today, help me be on guard at every moment, so that I do not act like a fool. In Jesus' name, amen.
Song: The Meditations of My Heart
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