He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a
fool. ~Proverbs 10:18
The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful. ~Proverbs 12:22
A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. ~Proverbs 16:27
A wicked person listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue. ~Proverbs 17:4
A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare. ~Proverbs 21:6
A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin. ~Proverbs 26:28
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. ~Psalm 34:12-14
For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the peace of the Lord is against those who do evil. ~1 Peter 3:10-13
“O be careful little mouth what you say.
O be careful little mouth what you say,
For the Father up above is looking down in love,
So be careful little mouth what you say.”
There is just no way around it, gossip is evil. Both the speaker and the hearer are guilty of sin. Gossip is always full of negative, but tantalizing bits of half-truths and speculations that are hard to resist. Gossip damages and destroys reputations and it is hard to combat because it rarely surfaces for a full, frontal attack.
Isn’t it interesting that the person being gossiped about is rarely present when it takes place?
Isn’t it interesting that most participants in gossip never approach the subject to check out the story?
Isn’t it interesting that those who gossip act as judge and jury over the one being gossiped about? Gossip never seems to come as fact but is accompanied by a lot of opinion and conclusion alongside, which is usually a negative conclusion, not grace.
Church communities are often guilty of redefining gossip as, “sharing prayer concerns.” Funny how it usually doesn’t result in much prayer, but it does spread! Why aren’t good things ever the subject of gossip: successes, accomplishments and achievements? Better yet, why do Christians especially have such a hard time shutting it down?
If it sounds like I’m coming down pretty hard on the subject of gossip it’s because Kathy and I have been the victims of it, in the church. It is the betrayal of people once thought to be friends. We know the damage that gossip can do, and we know how hard the road is back to respect. We also know how much participants can suffer from the hangover of participation. Gossip leaves everyone involved feeling dirty in the end.
Is it any wonder then that the Lord hates gossip so much? “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” Gossip involves lies and bearing false witness, which we already learned from Proverbs 6, are two of the things that God truly hates. It’s equal to murder in His eyes. Gossip is slander which God has no tolerance for. It is evil. It is setting a flame to a small patch of grass and then walking away. “A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire.” The gossiper has no idea where it will go or what damage it will do and, too often, the gossiper doesn’t care. They’ve had their little moment of fame. They’ve had their little moment of power, knowing what others don’t know. They have no idea how big the fire will get. That’s not their concern. They’ve gotten what they wanted out of the experience and that’s all that matters.
Another fact that we need to know about gossip before we are tempted to listen to a story is that, those who listen to gossip, will gossip themselves. They tend to share it with somebody else. That's how it spreads. But all who play a part in gossip will one day, be victimized by it too, ending up on the receiving end of the lies themselves. That’s just how it works. That’s what Solomon means when he says: “A wicked person listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue.” In the end, the reputation that gossip ruins the most is the gossiper him or herself because they have demonstrated that they cannot be trusted, and they don’t really care about truth, and people will talk about that!
Finally, we must realize that satan, the father of lies, prefers gossip as the easiest way to get Christians to participate in his plans. When we gossip, we are partnering with satan in the destruction of the church. It’s so easy for him because his little lies become shared, tasty tidbits of poison that a church community shares among itself until all are infected and wounded in the process.
However, it can be stopped! Peter repeats David’s advice here in dealing with the spread of gossip when he says: “For “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the peace of the Lord is against those who do evil.” How do we stop the evil? It is said that: “All it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.” We can stop this malicious evil! Consider what we can do to stop gossip and gossipers:
Ask the person bearing the tale how they know what they are sharing?
Let them know that you are going back to the subject of the gossip to check out the story.
Follow through and go back to the subject to check out the facts.
Don’t assume that it is a good thing that you are being taken into a gossip’s confidence. They are just as willing to tell a tale about you.
If you know that a juicy morsel is about to be served, either stop it or walk away. Don’t become known as a person with willing ears in such matters. Remember, you are creating a reputation as well.
One caveat, if a person is talking about their own experience of suffering and harm, and in so doing is talking about the person that hurt them, do not assume that is gossip! That is a cry for help and protection. In that case, listen with compassion and be inclined to believe them. Do not automatically go to the person being talked about and ask for their side of the story. You'll just tip them off. Instead, bring it to the professionals for intervention.
Finally, memorize Philippians 4:8 and begin putting it into practice. And, if you think that I should put it here for easy reference, you should already have it memorized. So, if you need to, look it up when we finish here, write it down for yourself and get to work on it! GRIN!
Prayer: Oh Father, we all have tongues that love to wag and are hard to control. We acknowledge that with humility and ask for Your Spirit's help to avoid the sins of gosipping and listening to gossip. Let us be a people who truly love one another and only speak words that encourage and edify and bless. In Jesus' name, amen.
Song: Where Charity and Love Prevail
The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful. ~Proverbs 12:22
A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. ~Proverbs 16:27
A wicked person listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue. ~Proverbs 17:4
A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare. ~Proverbs 21:6
A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin. ~Proverbs 26:28
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. ~Psalm 34:12-14
For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the peace of the Lord is against those who do evil. ~1 Peter 3:10-13
“O be careful little mouth what you say.
O be careful little mouth what you say,
For the Father up above is looking down in love,
So be careful little mouth what you say.”
There is just no way around it, gossip is evil. Both the speaker and the hearer are guilty of sin. Gossip is always full of negative, but tantalizing bits of half-truths and speculations that are hard to resist. Gossip damages and destroys reputations and it is hard to combat because it rarely surfaces for a full, frontal attack.
Isn’t it interesting that the person being gossiped about is rarely present when it takes place?
Isn’t it interesting that most participants in gossip never approach the subject to check out the story?
Isn’t it interesting that those who gossip act as judge and jury over the one being gossiped about? Gossip never seems to come as fact but is accompanied by a lot of opinion and conclusion alongside, which is usually a negative conclusion, not grace.
Church communities are often guilty of redefining gossip as, “sharing prayer concerns.” Funny how it usually doesn’t result in much prayer, but it does spread! Why aren’t good things ever the subject of gossip: successes, accomplishments and achievements? Better yet, why do Christians especially have such a hard time shutting it down?
If it sounds like I’m coming down pretty hard on the subject of gossip it’s because Kathy and I have been the victims of it, in the church. It is the betrayal of people once thought to be friends. We know the damage that gossip can do, and we know how hard the road is back to respect. We also know how much participants can suffer from the hangover of participation. Gossip leaves everyone involved feeling dirty in the end.
Is it any wonder then that the Lord hates gossip so much? “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” Gossip involves lies and bearing false witness, which we already learned from Proverbs 6, are two of the things that God truly hates. It’s equal to murder in His eyes. Gossip is slander which God has no tolerance for. It is evil. It is setting a flame to a small patch of grass and then walking away. “A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire.” The gossiper has no idea where it will go or what damage it will do and, too often, the gossiper doesn’t care. They’ve had their little moment of fame. They’ve had their little moment of power, knowing what others don’t know. They have no idea how big the fire will get. That’s not their concern. They’ve gotten what they wanted out of the experience and that’s all that matters.
Another fact that we need to know about gossip before we are tempted to listen to a story is that, those who listen to gossip, will gossip themselves. They tend to share it with somebody else. That's how it spreads. But all who play a part in gossip will one day, be victimized by it too, ending up on the receiving end of the lies themselves. That’s just how it works. That’s what Solomon means when he says: “A wicked person listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue.” In the end, the reputation that gossip ruins the most is the gossiper him or herself because they have demonstrated that they cannot be trusted, and they don’t really care about truth, and people will talk about that!
Finally, we must realize that satan, the father of lies, prefers gossip as the easiest way to get Christians to participate in his plans. When we gossip, we are partnering with satan in the destruction of the church. It’s so easy for him because his little lies become shared, tasty tidbits of poison that a church community shares among itself until all are infected and wounded in the process.
However, it can be stopped! Peter repeats David’s advice here in dealing with the spread of gossip when he says: “For “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the peace of the Lord is against those who do evil.” How do we stop the evil? It is said that: “All it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.” We can stop this malicious evil! Consider what we can do to stop gossip and gossipers:
Ask the person bearing the tale how they know what they are sharing?
Let them know that you are going back to the subject of the gossip to check out the story.
Follow through and go back to the subject to check out the facts.
Don’t assume that it is a good thing that you are being taken into a gossip’s confidence. They are just as willing to tell a tale about you.
If you know that a juicy morsel is about to be served, either stop it or walk away. Don’t become known as a person with willing ears in such matters. Remember, you are creating a reputation as well.
One caveat, if a person is talking about their own experience of suffering and harm, and in so doing is talking about the person that hurt them, do not assume that is gossip! That is a cry for help and protection. In that case, listen with compassion and be inclined to believe them. Do not automatically go to the person being talked about and ask for their side of the story. You'll just tip them off. Instead, bring it to the professionals for intervention.
Finally, memorize Philippians 4:8 and begin putting it into practice. And, if you think that I should put it here for easy reference, you should already have it memorized. So, if you need to, look it up when we finish here, write it down for yourself and get to work on it! GRIN!
Prayer: Oh Father, we all have tongues that love to wag and are hard to control. We acknowledge that with humility and ask for Your Spirit's help to avoid the sins of gosipping and listening to gossip. Let us be a people who truly love one another and only speak words that encourage and edify and bless. In Jesus' name, amen.
Song: Where Charity and Love Prevail
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