July 7 Leave It in the Lord’s Hands

A perverse person stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. ~Proverbs 16:28

Avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a one is warped and sinful. He is self-condemned. ~Titus 3:9-11 

We have to admit that there are those who just like to create conflict. Who knows why? Perhaps, in a way, it’s like those that we know of who are thrill seekers with their physical lives. You know, the kind of people who enjoy jumping out of perfectly good planes with parachutes on their backs. There are also people who chase tornadoes, etc.

And today we are talking about those who seem to enjoy taking risks with relationships. They might be wanting to prove they are right, maybe more to themselves than anyone else. Lawyers might fall into this category. Then, there are those who just want to stir up trouble, separate friends, break up relationships and create controversy. “A perverse person stirs up dissension,” “You may be sure that such a one is warped and sinful. He is self-condemned.” 

If, as we said yesterday, God created us to work together, then, doesn’t it just make sense that someone who enjoys being divisive is working against what God has ordained? That is sinful. The question is always, for us as Christians, how do we respond? 

“A gossip separates close friends.” This is a specific form of division that goes beyond just being argumentative to actually targeting relationships, to build walls and weaken individuals. This too is sin. 

Again, how do we respond? In both cases, whether just argumentative or more specifically, gossiping, when do we engage and when do we walk away? As the pastor of the church of Crete, Titus obviously needed some guidance in this area. Titus had originally traveled with Paul to Crete for evangelistic purposes. Paul then left Titus behind to organize the first converts into a church. It must have been a daunting task, since Crete was known as a center of depravity. The slur, “Cretan,” was not a complement. 

So, you have this baby church, trying to form in the middle of a culture of immorality where multiple gods and many philosophies are present and competing for attention and donations. There was bound to be a lot of arguing and disagreement from within about how to be a Christian, not to mention the pressure from the outside to try to break up this seedling church before it could grow and become an effective force for God’s good. 

Titus had to take on this situation with a firm hand. So, Paul’s words of wisdom in his letter are to give him guidance on how to do so. Earlier in Paul’s letter to Titus, Paul instructs the young pastor how to encourage older members to guide the younger ones. Then, Paul arrives at the subject that is the most destructive, the conflicts and controversies that are evidently plaguing the church at Crete. 

Paul does not advise ignoring the conflicts all together. In fact, he seems to advise giving everyone, agitators included, a fair hearing, but this does not mean supporting their heretical ideas. “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time.” This must take time. Time to hear them out, time to try to educate, and then time to have the same discussion a second time! 

Through it all, Titus must hold a firm grasp of the truth himself, not because of how it feels, but because of what he knows God’s truth is. “After that, have nothing to do with him.” Sometimes, the hardest decision to make is the one to let go. I started out by saying there are some people who thrive on conflict. Sometimes, as a church, it is better to let that person go than to try to continue to reconcile with them. 

Without Christ effecting a change of heart within them, some people are determined to force their own agenda and not reconciliation. Only your surrender will appease, but if you are holding forth for truth, surrender is the one thing you cannot give them. “In essentials unity.” It can be a hard thing to let people go. It doesn’t mean that we stop loving them or stop praying for them, or that we stop hoping for reconciliation. However, letting them go may be the way of peace. 

Sometimes, it is best to leave it in the Lord’s hands. Kathy and I have had to experience doing this several times. Once with our son Chris and another time with a former church. It is a painful thing to do. But, sometimes, hanging on does more damage to the innocent and that, I believe is what Paul’s advice is trying to avoid here. Even Paul experienced a divisive chapter in his life in Acts 15:36-41, when Paul and Barnabas had a disagreement over whether or not to continue to bring John Mark along. The disagreement was severe enough that the two separated, to keep the peace. 

However, this story also shows that separation doesn’t have to be the end of the story because, at the end of his life, Paul wrote to Timothy: “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.” (2 Timothy 4:11) Reconciliation between Paul and John Mark must have taken place at some point, though God, for His own purposes, has drawn the curtain on the details. 

If we are the divisive person, then we need to pay attention to what Solomon is saying about us. It is not a good thing, in God’s eyes to be a divisive person, to insist on your own way and not work toward unity in the church. The same is true if you tend to gossip. Gossip is hurtful and often causes damage that is not easily repaired. All of us need to remember the call to humility, seeing others better than ourselves and remaining open to building bridges while holding on to God’s truth that we know from studying His Word. 

Prayer: Dear Father I want to promote unity in my family and in my church and in my circle of friends that overlaps with those other categories. If there is any divisive tendency in me, let it appear as a log in my eye, and become easy to see and eradicate. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Song: Faithful Friends