Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam. So, drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. ~Proverbs 17:14
The one who loves a quarrel loves sin. The one who builds a high gate invites destruction. ~Proverbs 17:19
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, Treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three of you come together in my name, there am I with them. ~Matthew 18:15-20
We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The one who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the one who loves God is known by God. ~1 Corinthians 8:1-3
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam. So, drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Well, this may be a timely message considering what happened this spring in the cities of Sanford and Midland with the dam failures. It wasn’t pretty and they are still repairing the damage. To think that quarrels can do that kind of damage in human relationships is sobering indeed.
Unfortunately, often the damage to human relationships is not as readily apparent as the physical damage that was caused in mid-Michigan, even if it is just as devastating. Human relationships can go much deeper and take much longer to heal, if at all. Both parties must be able to work on their own side if healing is to take place.
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1) A quarrelsome person probably does not have peace in their own soul either. “The one who loves a quarrel loves sin.” The war within them is probably way worse than the one we see as they confront others. We’ve talked about this before and we have brought up Paul’s advice that, eventually, you just need to walk away. (Titus 3:7-9)
What we need to think about is, whether or not we are quarrelsome ourselves. How determined are we to prove our case, even in evangelism? We want to win so badly, the stakes are so high, but in truth, it is a rare person that was ever argued into heaven. Arguments aren’t what usually win people to Christ or heal relationships. It isn’t the approach that God used toward the world, so it probably won’t work for us either.
“We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.” When we get caught up in what we know and want to impress others, or win battles through our arguments, without applying love first, we are more likely to succeed only in raising defenses and making the rift worse.
“The one who builds a high gate invites destruction.” The opponent, in defense of him or herself, feels the need to build a wall of words of their own and so it goes. It’s like building a tower with blocks. Eventually, it tumbles because it is too tall for the foundation. The blocks scatter in a chaotic heap, which is okay in a game, but can be crippling in real life.
We do better to be bridge builders that can create a connection between ourselves and another. What are the common areas of interest that we share? What are the points that we can agree on? Begin there. Then, if there is conflict, again, the teaching of Jesus should be applied. Try to deal with it between the two of you first. If that doesn’t work, bring along one or two sets of mutual ears. If the other is really in the wrong and refuses to change, treat them like an unbeliever, which means, continue to pray for them. Jesus doesn’t let us off the hook in relationships easily.
Like the little boy who stuck his thumb in the dam to prevent further damage, heal the matter as you can while the matter is still small. Don’t build a wall when a simple thumb will do. “Love builds up.” Quarreling, conflict and discouragement are the devil’s playing field. It’s best if we can avoid playing in that field altogether.
Prayer: Father, Love first. That’s Your way. Let that be our way too. As we speak the truth in love, help us emphasize the value of the person we love, over the pleasure of “winning.” In Jesus’ name, amen.
Song: We Will Stand
The one who loves a quarrel loves sin. The one who builds a high gate invites destruction. ~Proverbs 17:19
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, Treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three of you come together in my name, there am I with them. ~Matthew 18:15-20
We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The one who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the one who loves God is known by God. ~1 Corinthians 8:1-3
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam. So, drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Well, this may be a timely message considering what happened this spring in the cities of Sanford and Midland with the dam failures. It wasn’t pretty and they are still repairing the damage. To think that quarrels can do that kind of damage in human relationships is sobering indeed.
Unfortunately, often the damage to human relationships is not as readily apparent as the physical damage that was caused in mid-Michigan, even if it is just as devastating. Human relationships can go much deeper and take much longer to heal, if at all. Both parties must be able to work on their own side if healing is to take place.
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1) A quarrelsome person probably does not have peace in their own soul either. “The one who loves a quarrel loves sin.” The war within them is probably way worse than the one we see as they confront others. We’ve talked about this before and we have brought up Paul’s advice that, eventually, you just need to walk away. (Titus 3:7-9)
What we need to think about is, whether or not we are quarrelsome ourselves. How determined are we to prove our case, even in evangelism? We want to win so badly, the stakes are so high, but in truth, it is a rare person that was ever argued into heaven. Arguments aren’t what usually win people to Christ or heal relationships. It isn’t the approach that God used toward the world, so it probably won’t work for us either.
“We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.” When we get caught up in what we know and want to impress others, or win battles through our arguments, without applying love first, we are more likely to succeed only in raising defenses and making the rift worse.
“The one who builds a high gate invites destruction.” The opponent, in defense of him or herself, feels the need to build a wall of words of their own and so it goes. It’s like building a tower with blocks. Eventually, it tumbles because it is too tall for the foundation. The blocks scatter in a chaotic heap, which is okay in a game, but can be crippling in real life.
We do better to be bridge builders that can create a connection between ourselves and another. What are the common areas of interest that we share? What are the points that we can agree on? Begin there. Then, if there is conflict, again, the teaching of Jesus should be applied. Try to deal with it between the two of you first. If that doesn’t work, bring along one or two sets of mutual ears. If the other is really in the wrong and refuses to change, treat them like an unbeliever, which means, continue to pray for them. Jesus doesn’t let us off the hook in relationships easily.
Like the little boy who stuck his thumb in the dam to prevent further damage, heal the matter as you can while the matter is still small. Don’t build a wall when a simple thumb will do. “Love builds up.” Quarreling, conflict and discouragement are the devil’s playing field. It’s best if we can avoid playing in that field altogether.
Prayer: Father, Love first. That’s Your way. Let that be our way too. As we speak the truth in love, help us emphasize the value of the person we love, over the pleasure of “winning.” In Jesus’ name, amen.
Song: We Will Stand
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